


Safe Anchorage

by Inventivetic



Category: Undertale
Genre: Angst, Depressed Sans, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, For a special person, Gen, Gift Fic, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, More angst, Sans Needs A Hug, Sans Remembers Resets, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 12:03:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9819704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inventivetic/pseuds/Inventivetic
Summary: "When in pain, there is a one-hundred percent chance, the brain with seek out a 'happy place' or reassurance...at least once."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SomeoneWhoCares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeoneWhoCares/gifts).
  * Inspired by [When Sanity Wanes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563120) by [SomeoneWhoCares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeoneWhoCares/pseuds/SomeoneWhoCares). 



 

  
Contrary to what his brother thinks, Sans is not sick.

 

No, he's not sick at all. He’s struggling. Remember, he has to tell himself. _Don't forget_. His hold on reality is steadily slipping away. Everything important is slowly becoming irrelevant. He has only one option, but he dreads it with his every fiber.

 

 He has to spill the beans. He has to release himself somehow, and there is only person he can trust..

 

 Sans stares at his feet moving quietly on the stairs,  bringing Papyrus closer to the truth.

 

..But Papyrus is happy.

 

 Suddenly, Sans stumbles, throwing out an arm to catch himself.

 

 Papyrus’ happiness is Sans’ too. If he ever...how could he forgive himself if he freaks out? What if he doesn't understand?

 

 Sans' hand slides off the wall to hang limply at his side, his courage ebbing. He tries to turn back, and almost collapses. He takes a seat, instead. _So much for that idea..._  “bro,” Sans croaks.

 

Papyrus turns, his Junior Jumble page in view. He begins in a chirpy tone, right until he realizes his brother's grim expression. “WHAT’S WRONG?“

 

”br— _papyrus_ ,“ Sans hangs his head, pats the stairs, “you should sit down.“ Sans says. His brother hastily complies, leaning in to get a view of his eyes.

 

 

”What’s the matter?“

 

 

”i need to tell you a couple of things.“

 

 

 

 

 

Papyrus doesn't know what to do with himself, Sans realizes, and his pupils vanish at this development. He had barely gotten to the bad parts. Yet, Papyrus moves like he's on a bed of nails.

 

 

”..sometimes..you die.“ Sans says darkly, a knot in his stomach.

 

 Papyrus looks like someone just kicked him. “You remember that?“

 

  
“..not exactly.” Sans says, leaning against his hand. “sometimes i'll wake up, with a feeling. or maybe i’ll find a note, from, um, other sans-es. sometimes i remember, and then forget later. so. yeah.”

 

“This happens over and over?”

 

Sans quickly clenches and unclenches his fists.“like i, uhhm,  _mentioned_ . the world just, kinda...,” Sans looks down at his lap and up again, “ _breaks_ , and this happens. just randomly. yeah.”

 

  
“I just _die_?”

 

  
“i—i, yeah.”

 

  
“Over and over?”

 

  
“...yeah.”

 

  
“Every time?”

 

“well—uh, no, it's more complicated than that. sometimes, it's different. sometimes, it's..“ Sans says, sweating. “sometimes we get really far, like, we...oh.”

 

Papyrus nods patiently.

 

  
“i have it written down, somewhere. just wait.” Sans slowly ascends the stairs, and a few minutes later, he plops down with a notepad, his chicken scratch all over it. “..sometimes, we get..,” Sans squints to look at his handwriting, “a really nice place in hotland, after..we both save up and——and we finally get rid of that _dog_. heh.” Sans lets out a small laugh, but his brother’s face is unmoving.

 

“one time, undyne, she, uh. got you a keyboard to play to..cheer you up. when i—get sick and—uh..”

 

  
“Yes..?” Sans clutches his notepad harder when Papyrus leans over to read it. “What do you mean?“

 

  
Sans looks at the wall.

 

  
“Oh.”

 

“it can  _get_  happy. really. like..” Sans flips through his notepad, cursing himself for not organizing this better. “..you made a new friend. the nice-cream guy. he's really..uh, nice.

 

  
“..Oh?” Papyrus sounds slightly less disturbed than before.

 

  
“yeah. he was always there for you, thick and thin. i really liked when you came home, and uh, talked about your day, with. y'know. him.”

 

  
“That sounds nice.”

 

  
“it was. you were really happy.”

 

  
“What about you?”

 

  
“huh?”

 

  
“Were you happy?”

 

  
Sans had to look away. ”no.” He mutters.

 

  
 Papyrus rattles gently. “Why not?”

 

 

“because i knew it wasn't going to last.”

 

 

“...You remember feeling that way?”

 

 

Again, his pupils disappear. “that's what I have always felt.”

 

  
“What do you mean?”

 

  
“..look for yourself.” He turns it to the first page, and Sans lets Papyrus take the notepad from him. Papyrus' eyes moves from left to right, before he sets it down on the step behind them.

 

“You kept track?” Papyrus says, looking queasy.

 

  
“i stopped, after a while.“

 

  
“W—have you told me before?”

 

  
Sans clutches his knee. “no. heh. this is number uno, for us both.” 

 

  
Papyrus' shakes his head, trying desperately to fight the incoming tears. “I'm so _sorry_.”

 

  
“hey, hey,” Sans couldn't find the energy to rub his back, so he settles for the nearest arm instead, “don't—don't do that. it's okay, it's okay. don't be sorry.”

 

Papyrus pulls Sans into a crushing hug, “I'm sorry. I just wish I could have been there for you.”

 

Sans looks up at him. “it's okay. you..just let it out. i've done worse. ha.” Papyrus lets out a weak laugh before it's interrupted by a gurgle, and then a sob. Sans sits there, muttering reassurances and rubbing circles into his back.

 

Eventually, he pulls away, scrubbing at his eyes. “ _Thank you_.”

 

 

“Huh?”

 

 

“F-for,” Papyrus sniffs, smiling. “Telling me! Now— _now_ you're not alone, and I can help you!”

 

  
“bro.” Sans says, sharper than he meant.

 

  
“I know I can't stop this.” Papyrus says, somberly. “But, maybe, I can make it...tolerable, at least?”

 

He sighs. “you don't have to ' _do_ ' anything, bro. you bein’ you is good enough.” Sans says, pausing for thought. “....actually. it feels. really nice. to have this out in the open. i was scared, at first. that you'd...remember, too. and uh, you'd...get hurt.”

 

  
“Well, even if I did,” His brother's voice cracks, “we would remember together, and that's enough for me.” Papyrus smiled.

 

  
“yeah.”

 

  
Papyrus took the notepad and began writing in it, pulling it away when Sans tried to look. “It's a surprise, for...next time.” He said, quieting a little.

 

  
“heh. I don't get a lot of those, so it's appreciated. a lot.”

 

  
“..Speaking of,” Papyrus sets the notepad down. “...do you know when...?“

 

  
Sans shrugged. “no idea. sometimes it's two days, or a week. maybe a year.”

 

  
Papyrus “..I hope this lasts a year.“

 

  
“me too,“ Sans laughs, “it'd be nice.”

 

  
“Well, in that case,” Papyrus pushs himself to his feet, offering a hand to Sans, “ let's make this time the best time ever!” Sans took his hand, feeling stronger than he did this morning.

 

 

“yeah.” Sans says, following his brother into the kitchen.

 

 

  
“What would you like?“

 

 

  
“cook anything that makes you happy, bro.“

 

 

  
“SPAGHETTI!“

 

Sans swear he could hear the grease fire, now.

 

 

 

 

    -*....*- 

  
Sans blinked.

 

God, this headache was _phenomenal_. He rolled off his bed, lying face-down for a few seconds, oddly relaxed. He shuffles to his knees, feeling under his bed in search of his phone. It's not there. Maybe Papyrus moved it. He looks around for his the Astronomy calendar to mark a new day. He bought it just yesterday.

 

Then it hits him.

 

  
His phone is missing, his room's messy, and his clock is wrong.

 

  
Sans presses his hands to his face. _Just when he had finally told the truth._ Sans stands, just to fall back onto his bed with a _pomf_. He lifts his head to pull the notepad from under his pillow.  

 

 

_2/18/20XX_

_  
You're so brave, Sans!! You went through everything that you did, and didn't say anything just to keep me happy. ( ~~Even though, I wish you didn't.)~~ You are really awesome. No, more than that. You are a good person. Good people don't deserve what is happening to you. Remember that. Even a bad person doesn't deserve this. (But no one is all bad !!) You told me everything and that's.. really brave of you. You’re doing great (!!!!!)_

 

_I love you,_

_Papyrus “The” Skeleton_

 

 

  
_2/22/20XX_

_  
I can't believe you know this much about science, Sans !! It's super...bodacious and cool ! Bodoolcaious! I want to get into science one day, maybe as a hobby. Once I'm part of the Royal Guard, maybe I can convince Undyne to make you the Scientist of the Royal Guard !! I mean..if we get that far. If not !! That's okay !! You’re really smart, still !! Always think about how smart you are, even when it gets really bad !!_

 

_Peace out,  
_

_Papyrus “The” Skeleton_

_**2/28/20XX !!!** _

_Oh my god !! You woke up an hour earlier than normal !! You really didn't care when you did, but it's super big for me!! More hours in the day to do totally do ~~bootylo~~ ~~boloca~~ ~~bodoolcaiso~~ more stuff !! I'm.. really proud!_

_I have to admit.. You are very fragile. Whenever I get too not-cool (Not often!!), I think about how fragile you are. But !! I know it's gonna be okay! (I always did) Because, now, your HP has risen by two whole points !! Did you know it takes some monsters years to raise their HP ?!?! You're doing so well! Just know, it's gonna be okay(!!!)_

 

_Love,  
Papyrus “The” Skeleton_

 

  
_3/4/20XX_

_Today was so fun !! We went sledding on that really big hill !! Undyne was there too, and she tried suplexing the snow, but snow is really slippery ~~(more of a slush)~~ !! You and I went sledding together , and when we hit the first bump (it was really huge) you fell off !! Then, you hit your arm on a rock and lost your first HP. It was really scary, and you were in a lot of pain !! But it's okay because 1 HP is super easy to heal, and you were much better. The rest of the day we just watched TV. You returned to normal in a couple of hours! You kept going !!_

 

_Someone's whose metaphorical heart is bursting with love,  
Papyrus “The” Skeleton_

 

 

Sans stared at the notepad, flabbergasted.

  
Two. Weeks. For two weeks, he was _**okay**_. He was happy. Sans' body shook, the paper crinkling in his hands. Papyrus was right. Good people didn't deserve this. _Sans_ didn't deserve this. He deserved longer. They all deserved longer.

 

After years(?) of repression, Sans felt the beginning of a sob grow in his throat. He drops his notepad on the ground and rolls further onto his mattress.

 

A thought occurs to him. _He could always tell Papyrus.._

 

A sad chuckle escapes him.

 

  
..but what would the _point be_ ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, there! Thanks to you, for reading my story all the way through !! Please, leave constructive criticism in the comments below, and read SomeoneWhoCares' original story.
> 
> Edit: Woah!!! 200 hits, you guys? That's so cool! Thank you all ;)
> 
> Edit: what the hell, I'm re-reading this and REALLY? "SPILL THE BEANS" IS THE MOST DRAMATIC PHRASE I COULD COME UP WITH


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